Mind wanderings

Sometimes, I am afraid that I will never reach my fullest potential. That I will never really know the Word and that I won't be credible enough to teach and guide others. I want to much to eat and breathe the Word, to know it inside and out, and yet I hinder myself by copping out in my time with God. I want Him so desperately, yet something always gets in the way. I get so distracted and can never seem to dive deep into prayer and the Word. I know these are all excuses and I hate them, but I feel like a hopeless case. I want to wake up and know it all, I want to wake up and understand it all, be able to convey it in the correct way and be able to share with people confidently so they can see what I can see. I know this won't happen and I know I need to try, I need to stop making excuses and I need to learn how to study the Word, I need to dive deep and strengthen my own relationship with God. I need to get away from all the distractions